My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
