i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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