I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
