does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Fuck appropriateness.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
