And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
