I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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