How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
