No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
whose parrot is this?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
