i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
