U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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