Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I pour the whiskey from now on
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
