Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
