Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
