yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
