Your tits are I can't wait for
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
