I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize