and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
