I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
