When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
