**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
