I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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