I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
