ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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