I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
