sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I didn't notice because vodka
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
