highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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