ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
