I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
