Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think your dad took our porno
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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