i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
