why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
