just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
