I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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