sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
