did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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