How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
