I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
