dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
