I could make wine with my vomit
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
