I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
