I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
