He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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