oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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