My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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