I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The air taste purple.
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