He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Of course I have a pirate flag
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
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