what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I party with great urgency now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
