"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
