yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize
