I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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