I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
